FEELINGS

   For the past few days.. Many different things have happened and many different feelings I developed and been in. 

  NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH 

You know the feeling of you working so hard and putting in so much effort in something you're assigned to do or not even assigned, extra work you do so that you could make someone happy and proud of you? And then the next moment that person regards you as useless, suckish, lazy, selfish, never put in effort? I personally felt hurt about it. So much effort I put in.. And yet? In the end I just get said this and that (bad remarks). Sometimes just makes me lose faith in continue doing it. Though giving up is not in my dictionary, losing faith in something has always been happening. Even being judged with the slightest comment, I lose faith. I just don't get why. Is it because I still haven't try hard enough? Or am I just trying to please someone that no one could? Or is it because that person hates me? Dislike Me? Idk... I just dk what to do anymore. Ignore? Hard for me. Pretend that nth happened? So not me. 

  MISSING SOMEONE DEARLY

You know how missing someone so much that you couldn't express yourself? Having that feelings towards someone but you just can't say it out? Afraid of rejections, afraid of disappointments and afraid of being Friend-Zoned. But then.. That person is forever stuck in your minds day and night! Hoping that person would notice you, or talk to you more or even wanting to get close with you. But it's not happening. If YOU are reading this, this is what I have always been wanting to say: "Sigh... I dk what to say to you cause I dk how to express myself to you. I'm afraid you might not talk to me anymore. I hope for your reply fast every second/minute/hour. Talking to you has always been an enjoyable thing to do. Knowing you would be sth I wouldn't regret. I dk what I just miss you so much. Knowing you don't give a damn about me. Or maybe you know how I felt but then you act like you don't? Idk.. Idk about us. What would our future be like? Will I ever get a chance to know you better or we will just continue being like this? I wish you knew and I wish you don't at the same time." Would our situation be like this? I dk. 

 

Or is it just me feeling like this :