First, after receiving my first try of O'level mother tongue results, despite it being considered a very low grade, I miraculously didn't dwell over it. Instead, I thank God for it. My grade was C6. To me, at that point of time, was a big achievement. Those who are reading this might be thinking: "You're satisfied just like that?" For now, I would say yes. Cause why?
1. I did not put in much effort for it.
What rights do I have to expect like what? An A when my effort was minimal? Then again, what should I do? Ofcourse the first thing that came to my minds was that to TRY AGAIN. This time, put in more effort. For someone like me, I really believe in how effort pays off with desired results. So yes, I'm going to try again. Harder this time.
2. It was my best. (For that point of time)
At that moment, I did what I could. For example, it was a miracle that I was able to clinch a Merit for Oral. All along I've been hearing comments of me saying that the way I speak chinese sounds super awkward. Even at times I was asked not to even use that language. But I came back with a Merit. PRAISE GOD. I believe that was my greatest achievement within this C6 grade.
However, I learnt more than just this. As the results were released, tears filled the hall. I see my peers getting mostly A2/B3. And they cried. To many, first thought was "wth? That grade alr still want to cry? Then me? C6 how? Wouldn't they have just killed themselves if they were to have gotten it? ". That was my first thought too. But then again, I reflected at that moment and I realise, that we all here have different capabilities. Some expects more in certain subjects because all along they have been doing well for it.
Other than that, I actually set a goal for myself. That I'll try to clinch a B4 at the of the year. It is tough for me. I know that. For a student who has always been failing chinese, sometimes, even getting F9! But does that mean I give up now? Does what I hear ppl say such as "Abit hard AH." "Hard for you ah", let it affect me? So what if it's hard? Does that give me a reason to give up? Or does that give me a million reasons to why I should try again, harder this time? I have a choice.
Lastly, I also told myself that it is not the number of A(s) I get that is important. From what I see now, A is the model grade for distinction (DUH?!) and it's known for the best score. But now, I'm not gonna chase for the A(s) in my grades. But, I'm going to chase for the best I could get out of me. If my very vey very best is a B, then it shall be.
*self note*
Don't pressurize yourself because of what others are getting. But, it's always ok to try and work towards your dream. There's nothing wrong with trying. At the end of the day, the only way to beat the rest is to overcome and beat over your enemy. And who is? It's none other than YOURSELF. Cause if you could win over yourself, you know you've won :) and I believe that it's the best grade that you'll ever achieve! Good night.
