FEELINGS

   For the past few days.. Many different things have happened and many different feelings I developed and been in. 

  NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH 

You know the feeling of you working so hard and putting in so much effort in something you're assigned to do or not even assigned, extra work you do so that you could make someone happy and proud of you? And then the next moment that person regards you as useless, suckish, lazy, selfish, never put in effort? I personally felt hurt about it. So much effort I put in.. And yet? In the end I just get said this and that (bad remarks). Sometimes just makes me lose faith in continue doing it. Though giving up is not in my dictionary, losing faith in something has always been happening. Even being judged with the slightest comment, I lose faith. I just don't get why. Is it because I still haven't try hard enough? Or am I just trying to please someone that no one could? Or is it because that person hates me? Dislike Me? Idk... I just dk what to do anymore. Ignore? Hard for me. Pretend that nth happened? So not me. 

  MISSING SOMEONE DEARLY

You know how missing someone so much that you couldn't express yourself? Having that feelings towards someone but you just can't say it out? Afraid of rejections, afraid of disappointments and afraid of being Friend-Zoned. But then.. That person is forever stuck in your minds day and night! Hoping that person would notice you, or talk to you more or even wanting to get close with you. But it's not happening. If YOU are reading this, this is what I have always been wanting to say: "Sigh... I dk what to say to you cause I dk how to express myself to you. I'm afraid you might not talk to me anymore. I hope for your reply fast every second/minute/hour. Talking to you has always been an enjoyable thing to do. Knowing you would be sth I wouldn't regret. I dk what I just miss you so much. Knowing you don't give a damn about me. Or maybe you know how I felt but then you act like you don't? Idk.. Idk about us. What would our future be like? Will I ever get a chance to know you better or we will just continue being like this? I wish you knew and I wish you don't at the same time." Would our situation be like this? I dk. 

 

Or is it just me feeling like this :

   

Open House At Yuying

  I'm typing this while lying on my bed after reaching back home. Like FINALLY. It's been the whole day from 8:30 to around 4+! 

  Been on duty for the whole day. Introducing my Cca, showing the visitors our dance item and trick techniques of dance props. Two words: Worn Out! 

I'm so tired now I hardly can open my eyes wide. Just wanting to sleep but it will affect my body clock. Slept for only like 5 hours last night and I had to wake up early in the morning. Never been so tired before! My throat are aching, my feet are too lazy to move, my knee is aching. (Didn't wear knee guard :x)

 

I shall let the pictures do the talking

    - us crowding around the table to watch our SYF dance item! 

   

    -(sorry for blur) when parents start to arrive! 

 

    

    

      - dk what was I doing but focus was on me :x

    

     - DANCE DANCE DANCE 

 

   

     - my back bone isn't so good today.

Oops! 

    

    - more practices 

     

    Sometimes we just got to act cute for a while

    The following photos would be photos taken with my dancers today! I'll tell the photos do the talking! 

 

    

    

    

    

    

    

   OHOHOH! I met Shannen Tan today during open house as well when she visited our dance studio. Didn't know she was on Okto till Shermin told me :x 

    I got bored so decided to take some pictures of myself :x 

   

    

    

 To sum everything up, it's been a rather fun BUT tiring day. I slept all the way when I reach home. This second part of the blog was edited AFTER I woke up from my nap. Still feeling tired x.x signing off with a group photo Tgt with my dancers! (not all are present)

    

   **DO COME AND JOIN US YUYING CHINESE DANCE** 

  

Everlasting

Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. -Anais Nin

 **this is a re-blog, I didn't save the previous one and I have to re-blog everything again** 

  Hmmm.. So I was out on Wednesday and Thursday with people I call best friends! People who stood by me, people who go through ups and downs with me. People who is there for me and would lend me their listening ear. Probably people who are the only close ones of mine that know I have this blog. :x 

Wednesday 20/11/13

I met up with Jane and Xinyi. We planned to meet at around 12 at Nex for lunch but ended up slightly later cause of me :x oops! It's true that the person living nearest to the meeting place is normally the latest to arrive! So we went to food junction for lunch because of Jane's craving for chicken rice! Yes! Chicken rice! So XinYi and I bought Japanese teriyaki chicken meal set. (Don't have a pic of what I ate. Sorry) 

 After which, we went to the bus interchange to take a bus down to Fareast plaza. It was funny how we were trying to hide away from the teenagers who were asking for donations :x I'm glad that at least these few are the more polite ones that doesn't force u. Some was just really rude by saying "if you don't want to donate also nvm, we can find people with better hearts than you" Was kinda pissed out when I heard it. 

  Moving on, we took 105 to Fareast. The bus was somehow empty that we were like the loudest people there :x oopss 

    - throughout the journey :x 

  

    

 

   We alighted infront of Fareast plaza and did some window shopping till we decided to buy the same pair or heels! 

    - pretty pretty *.* ;Credits Jane's leg;

 We then walked all the way to scape for Neoprints! Halfway through Jane's heels decided to snap and luckily I had the same size so I lend her mine! Haha! 

 

    -I'm always getting kissed :* haha!! 

After neoprint we slacked around scape. Took photos/girls talk!

  Until Jane started to crave for coffee bean and so we head over to Somerset313 for it! Met some schoolmates there :x 

    -Double Chocolate!! <3 

    

     -mesmerized by it! Had a long hour chat there with ma girls! 

   We then went window shopping at Forever 21 and H&M. Looking out for bikini tops! I sure miss Forever 21's spring season! 

 

  Afterwards we went to Astons for dinner! 

   -Chargrill Chicken with MashPotato and Coleslaw! Favourite! <3

After dinner we continued to slack around since we were so full but our legs were aching so we had to find somewhere to sit and chat! YES, we talk a lot! :x we wanted to take bus home but didn't know where to board the bus so ended up taking mrt back. 

 Sum it up, i really enjoy being with these girls who adds colour into my life! It's really been a blessing to know them! thank God for them! <3 

Thursday 21/11/13

  So we went to celebrate Phoebe's birthday all the way at Jurong east! 

  

 -fooling around on the train. 

   

    - I SEE WHAT U DID THERE IVY! 

   It was a long train ride and we then figured out an easier and faster way to reach jurong east! :/ but nvm, train rides seems shorter while u chat with ur friends! 

  And so we went for lunch at JEM. PEPPER LUNCH!  

 

    -Curry beef with cheese! ^_^ YUM YUM IN MY TUM TUM! 

   Afterwards we headed to Jcube for ice skating! We were so on time for the 3pm shift! Ok, I shall let the photos do the talking! 

   

    - IVY learning how to skate! Haha' 

- she at first was holding onto me till she fell on her butt :x OOPS! Such a great guide! XD 

 

     - me and birthday girl on the rink! Blur cause ivy was unstable! XD 

 

  

     -US! (: 

 

   

     - me with birthday girl again! 

   

     -side view of #OOTD 

    We then took a few Polaroids Tgt! 

   

   

   

    I bought phoebe a cupcake for her birthday and guess what happened to it! 

   

    - TADAHHHH~ 

   To sum up, really was an enjoyable day skating Tgt! Laughing Tgt! Just simply.. Being Tgt was what I treasure most :') I can't imagine life without u all. My life would be so empty. Thanks for adding colours into my life! Xoxo! 

Ending off with a message for phoebe!  

    Happy 14th birthday!! 🎁🎉🎊🎈 Now thinking u just turned 14, I feel so old that I'm turning 16 next year 😱😅 haha! Let's work hard Tgt next year alright! 💪💪 let's not allow disturbing words/people to affect us 🙅🙅 IF THEY DARE I'LL 👊 them! 🙊 OOPS. Just do what we gotta do and We'll make it :> NO MORE PTC 💥 HAHA! Hmmm... What else... Oh oh! Last forever with daddy alrights! Overcome all the quarrels Tgt cause everyone do see the couple face in you two!! 😏😆😋 he is someone who could tolerate all ur nonsense other than me 😝😝 who accept you for who u are! 😉 BUT I'LL STILL LOVE U MORE KNOWING U MIGHT NOT LOVE ME BACK. NOW THIS IS TRUE LOVE 😏😏 HAHAAH! Don't worry about ur weight also, u're skinny and have a perfect body alr!! I'm jealous of you! 🐷🐷 oink! Remember I'll always be here with u alrights!! Go through ups and down with u, stand by u and supporting u always!! :') thanks for being such a great friend! Didn't expected it in sec 1 🙊🙊 call my hotline 24/7! At 9*******! I'll entertain/talk to you!  If u can't reach me, then I most probably sleeping or bathing or dk what will I be doing! I love being around u! Just makes me laugh and I love how YOLO u are! Cause girl u're amazing~~ just the way you are~~ LOLOL, copyright! 💥 HAAH!! STAY PRETTY, HAPPY AND CHEERFUL ALL THE TIME ALRIGHT!!! I'll always have a spare ear for u to talk to! 👂 a spare mouth to talk to u! 👄 and my whole self to be beside you when u think that ur world is falling down! Cause I'll be there! Don't u worry! Love u much phoe!! 😘😘😘💕🐷  AKA MAMAPIG! Again, happy birthday'!! 🎁🎉🎊🎈💝 

-WITH MUCH LOVE, BABYPIG😘🐷💕

Changes

  As we grow older, our fashion style change, our looks change, our thinking change, our behaviour change. Everything slowly starts to change. Just better and better each day. 

 

  Fashion

I used to be the home-girl type or just casual dressing when I go out. Maybe just FBT and shirt or just normal t shirts and normal shorts and a pair of slippers. I don't have photos but just to show u how simple I used to be. 

      Yep... Like this? 

I didn't really bother about how I looked like last time outside. Maybe I do, but at that point if time, I probably was satisfied with how I look. 

     Let's talk about now. Hmmm.. As I start to get to know more friends that dress up differently, I start to like their style and start to get influenced by them. And ofcourse, I start to buy clothes that are more to how a in trend looking teenager would look like. Start to wear boots instead of slippers; Highwaist instead of normal shorts; crop tee/pullover instead of Normal plain tees; accessories instead of bare hands.. All these completely changed me. It really did change me. My friends did commented about me looking more matured and somehow don't really look like myself anymore. Let me show u some pictures then! 

     -Floral denim long skirt with a belt with heels and a pink clutch. I totally forgot my accessories. Oops. Yes, I love florals! 

   

    (Sorry for the unclear pic) -white crop top with jeans and boots! (P.S I didn't have a bag to match so I ended up holding my wallet) 

 

     - Denim #OOTD with denim top, denim skirt and a denim outwear Tgt with black boots and a sling bag with a SnapBack connected to it. Arm candies and rings on the right hand =)

     - sometimes just a girly outfit. A denim dress with ankle boots and a 3 way bag with some accessories. 

    

       I do like dark coloured clothing as well. -Wolf baseball tee with dip dyed shorts Tgt with black stockings and boots. Snapbacks are optional, sometimes I take it off. Tgt with some accessories! 

  That's all for my fashion. Yes, I shop a lot. When I say a lot, really is a lot! I can never stop shopping and it has became

My hobby. 

    Looks

  Hmmmmm... As many of you have gone through #whatpubertydidtome. Same goes to me. I used to be someone I can't imagine I was. But of course at that point of time, I managed to accept myself for how I look like. Like everyone else, I didn't bother about how I look! But now.. It's different. 

   Starting from young.. Hmmm... Like every other babies, I was a cutie pie at the start. 

  

     

    

   As I grew up. Same as many others, I didn't turn out to look so good since I didn't really bother about how I look. 

 

    

    - pretty much how I looked like in primary school after short hair period. Which I couldn't capture any of it cause it's too small and couldn't be focused. 

   

    Afterwards in secondary. Hmmmm.. I originally wear spectacles to school. Just not in the photo above. 

  

      - yeah.. This was it! 

  As time goes by, I started to get rid of my specs and started with normal contact lenses due to dance. I started to love the image of me without specs. So I decided to remove it and only wear it at home. YES, I started to care about how I look and afraid of how people judge me! 

 

    After that, I got introduced to colour lenses. Which I wasn't allowed to wear in the beginning but then I tried it. Also introduced to make up through dance performance and I found love with them! I have a collection of my products now. Not so many.. But still wanting to collect more brands and try out new products! 

     - me as a Chinese dancer. How I started to love make up. 

   I start to look up on YouTube for tutorials and even products that is well recommended by many youtubers. I get inspired most by BubzBeauty. Someone I look up to as a role model as well. 

  Now today, make up for me is depending on occasion and who I am with. I tend to want to be in the same style as the person I am hanging out with. Maybe sometimes I might not but I always try to. 

  

    

    Personality/attitude/behaviour

   Well.. Just like everybody. I have childish days, I have matured days, I have insane days. DEPENDS ON WHO I AM WITH. I too sometimes has VERY low self-esteem. Nth else for me to say. Everyone has their own opinions of me. Be who you are and people will respect you just the way you are. Being yourself isn't a crime.