Hashtag life

I honestly don't know where and how to start this post. Really. So many things I would love to share but just don't know which to start from. But yeah... I shall start with something most recent. This blog is an impromptu one. Typing what and how I feel now so that in future, there is something I can look back to.

Well.. I guess I've been living a life where I try to please people. Giving in to what they say/feel despite being against it just to save the relationship between two person. Sometimes, idk what I'm doing. Why I have to do all these and what for? Does it benefit me? Not at all. But one thing that I've come to realise is that the world does not only revolves around me. I can't just think about how I feel and neglect others. My point of view and others aren't the same. I can be selfish and only be bias to my point of view. But sometimes, I can't help it but feel that way. That my point of view is not respected. Ok, I admit that I don't always respect people's point of view and strongly go with my point of view. But at some point... I guess I have my limits. I'm not as strong as anyone thinks that I am.

Bringing me to the next point:

Some humans are like crabs

Why I say this? Because I don't think that anyone is fully strong minded in this world. Everyone has their weak point of which would destroy him/her. Just like crabs. They appear strong and fiery on the outside, protect themselves with their pincers, but once you break them, they are actually very soft on the inside. This applies to us as well. Not everyone who seems to put up with all your nonsense and stuffs are actually ok. They just don't wish to tell you. Don't want unnecessary conflicts. Cause they know that the other person will never understand. OR maybe my statement is wrong? Maybe sometimes the other person will understand. But this person who is putting up with too many things don't feel it. Seen too much that just scares he/she off. Too paranoid. What can this person do, honestly? Afraid of things that would be revealed and cause trouble so just hide it away. But I know... No matter how deep the secret is, how much it is well hidden, it can't be kept away forever. One day,I believe things will be revealed and by then, I hope I know what I am suppose to do.

Blindly fitting in

Idk has anyone ever been in the same situation. But it's complicated. In order to keep one person by your side, you have to sacrifice so many things. One common thing is sharing the person you dislike. Yeah.. I admit that I have a whole list of people whom I dislike. Some of them it's hard to forgive, some, hard to face and some I want to forgive and maybe already did but have yet to forget. I find it a pity, to how in life you can't live to please everyone. You just can't have nice thoughts towards everyone. A certain someone will have a negative thought from you. Worse, you just can't help it. For me, as to what my father has told me, is that we all are being punished by God. Around the world, we speak different languages, every language has its own meaning of a certain word and because of the language barrier, we tend to misunderstand each other and cause conflict. Making us feel miserable and hurt for what we've done wrong and serve it as our punishment. But for me to say, even speaking the same language can cause misunderstand, don't have to talk about other languages.

But don't forget the bright side of this "punishment" we serve here. We get into conflict, we misunderstand each other, we quarrel, all these are for us to learn. I realise over the years of how the same problem occurs over and over again. From my point of view, why do things always happen over and over again? It's because you haven't learn the true lesson behind it. Until the day where you have fully understood what went wrong and what you shouldn't and should have done, then will that problem disappear. I mean come on, imagine your life with no problems, carefree and stuffs.. Good is good, but would it be better than over coming a problem and you know you've learnt something beneficial from it? Just like the feeling difference between plainly copying school work and working hard for it. Which one would satisfy you more? Having no knowledge on anything and doing well or having knowledge in a certain thing and doing well? Up to you to say what it is.

I guess that's it for now. All that I have to say have been said. I just went through a minor problem a couple of minutes ago, and right before I actually wanted to tear and my heart starts aching, I put a stop to it. (SELF REMINDER! READ THIS OVER AND OVER AGAIN WHEN YOU FEEL DOWN JIAEN!! ) Because why let something you know that in the end, everything will eventually be ok to affect you? You know exactly it's going to be ok so don't dwell over it too much. If you want to cry, cry. But don't let it affect you. I know you're stronger than you think you are. No one has the rights to affect you. Problems aren't gonna stay. Don't care about others too much. Give yourself some love an respect cause if you don't  respect your own feelings, who will?! You have a family who loves you, you have a roof to live under, you have almost EVERYTHING, what is the problem which is bigger than not having all these? things are going to be ok. Alright? God is with you. He loves you. Don't cry.

Changes (Part 2)

Oh so hi there! This is a continue blogpost from my back then blogpost regarding changes around me. Changes... Well I guess not much (?) as it has only been like a year. So yeah... Here we go. 

FASHION

I guess now I'm not not really into skirts anymore. From previous post, it shows that I was more of a skirt person, but now, I'm more of a SKORTS person. Yes skorts. So much that my haul from Bangkok has a lotttttt of skorts. Also, I'm more into I guess... Dark coloured clothings more? No longer the pastel pastel flowery kind of design.  Okok, shall let pictures do the talking.

    Ok, maybe.. Sort of like Rompers too! But with skorts as the bottom. 

    

    One with shorts ; I know I'm very blue

    

    One set outfit; I swear I was so insecure with those stretchable skirts around my waist that squeezes my fats and I was scared they expose. LOL 

   

    

    If you've visited or seen from Instagram, a romper outfit to a wedding dinner! Yup, those heels from previous post! 

    

    For this, I have no choice but to pair it with stockings cause it was too short :x

    

    This is so far the most colourful shirt I've worn. HAHA. I had to throw away the skorts in Bangkok because the idk what's that called was coming out and it was so uglyyy.

  

     

    Basically my airport fashion. 

    

    I love love love x100 this top that I got from Bangkok. So much I bought 2 colours :x and yeah.. Skorts !! 

    

    Yup, skorts from before. Paired with a blazer which I eventually took off because it was too hot. 

    

    And.. My last day ootd. Sad to leave Bangkok. And I'm still missing it now.

    

    Both top and bottom from Bangkok. And yeah.. SKORTS. 

     

    OH OH! I'm pretty into accessories nowadays too! Especially those necklaces and fancy arm candies. I do not have much pictures taken of them, but I guess here's some.

    

    

    

    

    LOOKS

 

well... Pretty much the fashion post has shown how much I have changed over the years. I'll just show two pictures. One from January and the recent one.

    

    I had short fringe back then, non rebonded hair.

    

     Now is long fringe; rebonded hair. I guess that's the only diff.

     PERSONALITY/ATTITUDE/BEHAVIOUR

I think throughout this year, i've learnt a lot? I've also come to realise how I'm more sensitive towards certain things. I can't deny that some of my decisions and reactions are still very childish and selfish. I've also let go off certain things that I thought I could change. Accepting someone/something for who she/he is. I think this is it for now. Talk about this year more in later posts.